Change: The Finest Remedy

"Change is the elixir of life, happiness is ours when we respond and adapt with enthusiasm to changes when they appear." ~ Stuart Avery Gold

Each day we continue to experience moments of change. Whether it be drastic or minimal, change comes, and can have a disruptive impact on our daily lives. According to Susie Collins, author of the book Dealing With Change in a Positive Way; she believes unfamiliarity creates challenges when we fail to accept our lives as they are, and do not embrace the alteration to consciously mold our lives into becoming an empowering venue. In other words, change occurs in every moment, whether one is consciously creating change or not, one can utilize that novelty to produce a better futuristic outcome.

As of myself, I strongly believe that there is a valuable lesson contained within every change. Through previous experience, I have learned to embrace change and therefore continue to move forward. Likewise, if I had not taken the incentive to move on and clean house, than I would still be consumed with anxiety, frustration, and most importantly uncertainty. Fortunately, its been almost four years since I transferred to Rider University, and for that I am truly grateful. Before this drastic change, I attended Georgian Court University, a small Catholic Women's College, located in Lakewood, NJ. Furthermore, Georgian Court was like no other College. GCU was founded by the Sisters of Mercy, and offered a comprehensive liberal arts education. Overall, GCU provided a unique atmosphere, with a special concern for women. It was a peculiar place, with its distinctive values, beliefs, and its overemphasis on a matriarchal society. The way I see it Georgian Court portrayed an unrealistic, Utopian world.

From the very first day I arrived at Georgian Court, I realized that this was not the place for me. It offered a falsified vision of life, essentially bashing the male gender. Whether it be in academics, athletics, extra-curricular activities, or even special events, men were prohibited from attending. In all, I felt a great deal of uncertainty, and hesitancy while on campus grounds. I would persistently ask myself: How could they get away with something like this? What type of communication skills are these females going to have when they graduate and have to face men in the workplace? How are these students going to interact effectively with their male coworkers? Thus, I concluded that Georgian Court was providing an inaccurate preparation for the future. It would be impossible to live in the society Georgian Court illustrates because inevitably interaction occurs between both sexes. In addition, I wondered Why were men treated with such animosity? Why was the male gender viewed as a disturbance, and a distraction? I really tried to mold myself into the Georgian Court Community, however I failed in doing so. I was unable to reduce my uncertainty, and increase my predictability. I could not communicate with the individuals at GCU, for reason that, their perception of men conflicted with mine. Unfortunately, Berger's Uncertainty Reduction Theory could not be utilized in my situation. As a result, I had to sustain to this unpleasant experience for an entire year. After that year, I realized I had to break free from the misery and confinement I succumbed to at Georgian Court. Moreover, I had to move on and make a change. I needed to clean house, transfer schools. In all, change would be the best possible remedy for curing this affliction of uncertainty. It was what I wanted, what I needed to do.

A True Inspiration

I can clearly recall that exact day, eleven years ago. It was a typical Saturday morning in October, and my twin sister and I were watching our favorite morning cartoon, X-Men. We were unaware that what we would encounter on that particular day, would change our lives forever. It was about halfway through the show, and the doorbell rang. Almost simultaneously, Caitlin and I got off the coach, and eagerly headed for the front door. Nevertheless, we were surprised to see our older sister Keely, back home from college. Meanwhile, we were unaware of the stranger who proceeded to enter through the doorway, with her. The young man's appearance was far from usual. He was tall, slender, and had hair that reached down to his shoulders; he wore a faded navy blue sweatshirt, straight legged jeans, and filthy white converse sneakers. Nonetheless, his gentleness and kind personality had bewildered my twin sister and I. The young man immediately introduced himself as Chris, "Keely's boyfriend," and from that day on I met the most remarkable individual I have ever known.

As years passed, Chris had become increasingly attached to my family. He would spend almost ever weekend with Keely at our house. As a result, Chris had become a huge part of the family. Most importantly, he had become a great part of my twin sister's and my life. Chris was like a brother to us. His generosity, kindness, and reassurance, were unimaginable. Whenever times got tough in middle school, or in high school, he was there. No matter what the situation would be, Chris would bring a warm, and cheerful presence, into my household. His laughter, happiness, and positive attitude were uncanny. Not one day in my life, had I ever seen him upset, angry, or frustrated. In fact, I had often found myself anxiously awaiting, for the weekend to come, just so I could see him. In an instinct, Chris would make me happy. He was my hero, my inspiration. I recall constantly reassuring, and telling myself, "that everything was going to be alright, because Chris is here."

Within eight years, My twin sister and I shared unforgettable memories with Chris. We confided in him, trusted him, and most importantly grew to love him. In all, Chris was there through the struggles, as well as the many splendid moments in my life. For instance, Chris was there when both of my grandparents passed away, and therefore became a pole bearer at both their funerals. He was there when I won my first tennis tournament, and even my first singles match in high school. Chris was there during both of my elementary, and high school, graduations. He was even there to celebrate my twin sister and my birthday over the past eight years, never failing to bring us a special gift each year. In general, Chris was there for almost every family gathering within the past eight years, including my family's most treasured get together Christmas.

Besides that, later on throughout their relationship, Keely and Chris had purchased a house close by, and were living together. In all, my parents did not approve of Keely cohabiting with her boyfriend. However, this specific situation did not faze them, because it was Chris, and they had trusted him. More importantly, this was considered a joyous comfort for Caitlin and I, because now we would be closer to Chris. He was just a drive away. Thereby, now we were able to see him as much often as we would like. Overall, I feel this was the only time in my life, that all the pieces of my jigsaw puzzle fit together. I was truly happy.

However, soon this would be taken apart, and Keely decided to end her eight year relationship with Chris. Her decision had caused a great deal of emotional pain for my twin sister and I. Keely not only broke Chris's heart, but she had broken mine. She took away the most important part of my life, Chris. Unfortunately, Caitlin and I were faced with the painful realization that we would never see Chris again. We would never once more have the opportunity to spend time with him, ask for his advice, or even laugh with him.

I feel that having to say goodbye to Chris, was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. I remember precisely my last words to him. That day, Caitlin and I slowly headed up the driveway of Keely and Chris’s house. Trying to fight back tears, we noticed Chris was working strenuously in his garage. As we walked into the garage, we noticed that Chris was painting. Chris was working on what he thought needed a finishing touch, before he was to move out. At that moment, Chris sadly looked up to see both Caitlin and I standing in front of him. Before I could say a word, I slowly visualized back to that precious Saturday morning in October, when I met Chris for the first time. Likewise, Caitlin stood by my side, as a sudden look of uncertainty swept across our faces. Who was this guy? What did our sister see in him? Moreover, we had no idea that this individual would have such a profound impact on our lives. As of that day, I learned its foolish to judge one by one's appearance. Because if I did, I would never have understood Chris the way I did. I would have never have known what a true inspiration is.

Sadly, since that moment in the garage, we have neither heard nor seen from Chris. To this day, I still have a tough time accepting the fact that he is gone. I never imagined life without him. Above all, I never realized the emotional impact he had on my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Chris and what he has done to me. Through his kind mannerism, and encouragement, Chris had helped me to realize that life is not as bad after all. Furthermore, whenever I feel sad, or even overwhelmed, I just think of the laughter, generosity, and optimism Chris carried with him throughout life. Overall, my dream is to someday meet up with Chris again. However, until then, my jigsaw puzzle remains incomplete. It's still missing its center piece.